In case anyone is wondering, school is going fine. Not swimmingly, but fine. I recently completed one of the biggest hurdles that 1L students at my school have to go through, which unfortunately not everyone made. So I'm just happy to still be here.
But then there are times when I go back to Christmas break mode after learning my grades...like right now.
The honor fraternity that I made my goal my first semester to get into is having their initiation ceremony tonight, and of course I'm not there. I saw them in the foyer, and noticed many of my classmates...smiling and laughing and so dressed up...and I was hit with the "Why me's?" all over again.
And it kind of sucked for 10 minutes.
I already know that the only thing I can do is try harder and learn from my mistakes from last semester. But the broader point that I'm trying to make is that every now and then we go back to that spot in our history that we thought we were over and it sucks/hurts/angers us all over again. But when you really think about it, the feelings are only fleeting and as soon as you see what you have in front of you and stop looking behind you, then you can actually walk FORWARD. You can never get ahead of anyone if you keep looking behind you. The finish line is in front, not the back. Just keep swimming... You should always be looking forward, ahead, up, above, and keep the past in mind to LEARN from, but not to forget. Because if you do forget, you're bound to repeat it.
So I'm going to go ahead and get back to studying...because at least while my fortunate classmates get to celebrate their initiation with all the food and drink and festivities, I'm getting a day ahead on my Oral Argument preparation. =)
Keep it funky!
