Just keep swimming

So...I have my grades from my very first semester of law school. While everyone is telling me to just work harder (they weren't grades that I wanted) I get incredibly frustrated because I really can't work any harder. I gave up happy hours with class mates, football games on Saturday, sleep, breakfast, working out, eating dinner, to devote pretty much my life to studying. 

And maybe that was the problem

Maybe I did too much. 

There was no Ashley time. There was no time for me to get myself together. My laundry piled up as well as my trash. But I was reading. And studying. And practicing. And it was all supposed to pay off. 

Well. I don't think that it did. And since everyone is telling me to change things, I'm going to do just that. 

I'm going to watch basketball. I'm going to go out once a month. I'm going to keep going to church. I'm going to keep working out. I'm actually going to stop studying to eat dinner. I'm going to get sleep. I'm going to get a DVR and actually watch TV...American Idol is back on after all. 

I say all this to make a point about optimism. I have the grades that I have and nothing is going to change that. So what do I do? Quit or keep going. And since I don't have a rich husband, looks like I'm going to have to keep going. The beautiful part is I don't have to think about those grades ever again. They're there! It's not like starting this semester is going to erase them, but I can't let them hold me back from getting where I want to get in my legal career. They are the grades for the first semester after all. And to a law student that means A LOT. But, it's just the first semester. 

True, this is the first major set back that I've ever experienced. I've never fallen so far from a goal that I reached. That saying, "Shoot for the moon because if you miss you'll land among the stars." ...  I landed somewhere around the International Space Station. Not very far from where I started. But, I am closer to the moon. So I'll just try again. It doesn't matter if I was on a satellite or the moon. The sun will still rise. 

So here's what's to be said about optimism. For those of you that suffer set backs, hardships, and disappointments in life, just know that the people at the top can't climb any higher, but you can. And no one can ever really appreciate the good times, unless they have suffered the hard. 

Keep your head up and keep it funky =)

Have A Piece of Pie

My father tried as hard as possible to teach me humility when I was younger. But I was just an incredibly proud, talkative, child that new I was a princess, (I still am ;-), but the problem was that EVERYONE else needed to know it too. The idea got into my head when my mother told me I was a duchess because my father is an Earl. (Pun on the last name for those of you who missed it). 

Sure there were times where I knew there were people that were better at me than some things, so I didn't try to compete. I let them have what they wanted and didn't try to stand in the way because trying to be better would just lead to disappointment. But, when it came to things that I was good at, like dancing back in high school, I was told that my team mates (drill team) didn't like me because I walked around like I was the best damn dancer on the team. I knew I wasn't, but I never thought I walked around like I was. And what the hell was so wrong with having confidencee in my dancing abilities? I can honestly say at this point I wasn't being cocky. I just loved to dance and gave it my all. 

My dad would be happy to learn that I have officially had my slice of humble pie, and it's disgusting. I hate it and never want to eat it again. It's worse than having your mouth washed out with soap. The worst part is, because I don't feel like I've ever had a piece, my taste buds haven't had a chance to get used to it. Humble pie is an acquired taste. I think it's nasty. 

Of course, the reason why this pie is the worst thing to ever cross my lips is not necessarily because I've never had it before, but I always thought I was too good for the pie. Who wants humble pie, when you can have chocolate fondant? Mmmm. 

I think the phrase "pie" is misleading. Who doesn't like pie? You're supposed to like pie. Pie is supposed to taste good. I think we should call it humble soap. And you get your ego washed, like you would your mouth with regular soap if your mom caught you cursing. Now that's gross. 

So how do we not cross that thin line between humility and cockiness? I will admit that I can easily cross that line. I don't claim to know everything, but I still think I'm a DIVA. A little set back isn't going to keep me from getting what I want. I work hard, and I am good at what I do. But I now recognize that there are people who are better at it. Which makes me wonder, if there's always someone who's better at something, how can there ever be a best?

So what happens when we come across something that we want to be good at, nay, the best, and we come to find out that other people are still better. No matter how hard you work, or how much time and effort you put into it, there's always someone better than you. What do you do? Well hopefully you've learned that having your ego scrubbed down isn't a pleasant experience and you've remained slightly humbled. By no means ever down play your abilities. It's kinda cool to come from no where and shock everyone with how awesome you are, but don't gloat, no matter how much you want to rub in everyone's faces that you're the bomb. They know you are, and you know you are, so why announce it? This is when the line is crossed. You don't need to do the speaking about how awesome you are, your actions, triumphs, achievements, etc. will do it for you. 

And that Ladies and Gentlemen is how you keep it funky.